Homer's Odyssey
by Sqrl Of Doom
Summary: When Homer meets an odd young man during the seige of Troy, He never suspects that he'll take him on the wildest adventure of his life. T for language and inevitable violence.


"You are sitting on a hard wooden, crowded by other soldiers on all sides. You gaze around at the large wooden structure that you are inside of, wondering how exactly you ended up here. You're a scholar, not a warrior or an assassin. Damn those conscriptors to Hades, and Damn that thrice accursed Agamemnon, and his floozy of a wife! So what if she left him for the younger prince Paris of Troy? It's no reason to drag innocent people away from their homes and livelihoods and force them to fight for _ten years._ Just move _on_, for Zeus's' sake."

"The men are growing restless. All of you have been packed together like so many loaves of bread in a pantry for hours on end, and it is beginning to wear on your patience's. Most of the others have been trained to smite the enemy whenever he comes near, and waiting silently in the heart of enemy territory whilst the people of Troy rejoice in the gift and certain withdrawal from the Greek army that has plagued them as a flea worries a dog for all of these years. It can almost drive one to insanity."

"But still, the wooden contraption that you are inside of fascinates you, as well as the man who conceived its creation, though you have never met him. This _Odysseus._ His plan is brilliant, a masterstroke, a decisive win for the Greeks-if they could pull it off. So far, it seems successful.

The Trojans had pulled the giant horse through their gates and, presumably, into the town center. You and the men inside listened as they threw wild celebrations outside, thinking the horse a sign of the Greek's defeat and imminent retreat. The celebrations lasted from midmorning to roughly an hour and a half ago, though it is impossible to measure time in here. Now you wait for the middle night (1), to steal away under the cloak of darkness, to open the mighty gates of the peacefully slumbering city, to secret in the Grecian army, who will shatter the peace with iron and blood."

"Until then, you wait."

"You allow your gaze to travel around the stuffy interior of the horse, bored out of your wits from sitting the entire day. Gradually, you become aware of the low snickers and chuckles that seem to surround you. Quite suddenly, you perceive the young man sitting across from you, _speaking your very thoughts out loud!_ No, he is not reading your thoughts, you realize, but had been speaking them for you, and you obligingly listened and thought the very things that he was saying. A product of your boredom induced daze. You glare at the cunning young man, your eyes saying 'shut up or I'll close your mouth for you'. Ooh, that's scary, that is."

Homer continued to glare at the young man, flushing as he realized that the subdued laughter was directed at him. The man just gave him a wry glance and said, "But eventually, you realize that this young man is only jesting, trying to take everyone's mind off of the tedium of sitting on their arses for hours on end."

Homer sighed. He had no problem with trying to take everyone's mind off things, but he wished that he had not been singled out for that purpose.

"Please, be quiet. We'll get in trouble with the commanding officer if you keep this up. And, even worse, the Trojans might hear."

That shut everyone up right quick enough. The thought of the Trojans discovering their tiny scouting party was too grim to bear.

"Oh, lighten up. I'm sure that he'll forgive us if we speak quietly. I'll expect that he was thoroughly amused by our little skit as well."

"Who is the commanding officer for this mission?"

"I have it on good authority that it's Odysseus himself. Only makes sense that he'd want to command the troops that are going to employ a plan that he created. Doesn't want any stupid mistakes if he can help it."

"True."

Just then, a scout, who has been seated up in the head for the whole day, slid down the small ladder and said, "About a quarter hour to deployment. Shake any stiffness out and be ready to move by then."

The now grim soldiers proceeded to stretch as much as the compartment would allow. A few minutes later, Homer remembered something that had been bugging him before.

"How did you know I was a scholar?"

"Wha? Oh, that. I know the occupation of everyone on board here. Like that one, over there, he worked as a cattle herder back home," replied the young man, pointing to a heavily muscled youth near the hatch.

"Why would Odysseus have picked a scholar and a cattle herder?"

"Well, a cattle herder has to round up obstinate bulls for a living, and that needs a lot of strength. I suppose that he'll be used to open the gates."

"But why choose a scholar?"

"Perhaps he needs someone who can think for themselves, improvise, point out problems or solutions that he might not have seen."

"Hmm…I can see how I might come in handy in that respect, but I can't fight. I failed all of my training sessions."

"Then just stick close to someone who _can_ fight. Besides, battle often brings out the fighting side of people."

"Hn."

"What's with the disbelieving grunt?"

"You don't get how scholarly my nature is. I feel bad whenever I step on a spider."

"…Ok, that _is_ pretty bad."

The scout came down once again, interrupting their conversation.

"We're movin' out. As soon as that hatch is open, we'll need complete silence until the army is inside the gates. Understood?"

The soldiers nodded their agreement, nervous at the daunting task ahead of them. The scout began to move toward the hatch, with the soldiers crowding in behind. Homer thought of something. It wasn't very important, but would give him some small comfort in the coming battle.

"What is your name?" He asked his new found friend.

"Eh?" The young man replied, seemingly caught off guard by the question.

"Your name, what is it?"

The young man looked towards the scout, who was unlatching the hatch, then back at Homer.

"…Odysseus."

"Then may the gods…watch…over…" Homer broke off and blinked a few times, knowing that he had heard correctly. He stared at the young man before him, mouth opening and closing a few times, but no words coming out.

Odysseus grinned at Homer's aghast expression and winked at him, saying, "Told you I had it on good authority."

Then he was gone, down the now open hatch, into the darkened city.

But Homer had the feeling that this was not the last he would see of Odysseus.

Indeed, this was to be the first meeting of what would be a long and very tumultuous friendship.


End file.
